We just reached our one year anniversary from the last time
we attended a Sunday meeting. This past year has been awesome in many ways.
First, we have had so much more time for family things. I didn’t really realize
how busy the church kept both Joseph and me before. We probably spent a good 20
hours a week between our various church callings. A full two day weekend allows
us a lot more time to get chores and errands done and to still have plenty of
time to have family fun and relaxing time.
We have also been able to save a ton more money and have
still been blessed even though we no longer pay a tithe. Joseph and I have both
been blessed with more opportunities to make more money and all this extra
money has been able to go straight into our savings. This has shown me that
even though we don’t pay a tithe we are still blessed and that the church teaches
people to believe otherwise because they want money for their corporation. That
being said we do find ways to still donate to the needy and enjoy serving others
that we come across. While we have always been good with money and have always
had enough for our needs, it is nice to not have to use a credit card for an
unexpected car repair or whatever it might be that comes up. We were able to
begin and end last year debt free (with the exception of house mortgage and
student loans). I should add that it is a nice feeling being able to pay cash
for new couches.
Another positive thing is that we no longer have to sit
through another boring church meeting hearing the same talk or lesson that is
being repeated from years before. We don’t have to sit through fast and
testimony meeting either. Fast and testimony meeting used to drive me crazy. I
hated seeing young children get up and say what their parents whispered in
their ears or reading what their parents had written down. It just seemed so
much like brainwashing to me. I also didn’t like when certain people would
carry on forever.
So there have been numerous positives for us, but the last
one that I will mention is the fact that I no longer have to wear garments. It
has been so freeing and so much nicer during the summer to shed that layer of
clothing. My body doesn’t seem to regulate temperature very well so I usually
feel like I am either freezing cold or on fire.
I do miss some of the people from our former ward. I miss
spending time with the Young Women. They were all such darling young ladies
with so much personality. I have very fond memories with them from girl’s camps
and various activities. I will always love them and cherish the time I was able
to spend with them. I also miss mingling in the halls with a select few and
having some social interaction. However, we have recently been able to meet
with others like us who have left the church. It is nice being able to build a
new social group and to make new friends. I didn’t realize how isolated I had
become since moving to Utah. In California I had mostly non-member friends and
I knew how to go about making friends a bit easier. But in my adult life I
became rather isolated and only really hung out with people from church because
that is where I spent most of my time outside of the home.
The last thing that I will mention is the grief that we have
felt. It is not easy going from believing that we had the truth, “the one and
only” to having the rug pulled out from under our feet. Many think we chose
this because we didn’t want to live by the church’s standards but that is
simply not true. We tried to logically prove the gospel as truth but instead
found many faults. It has definitely been a grieving process for what we once
had hoped was true. I know that many believe that we will return and realize
the mistake we have made but that is simply not true. We can never go back
knowing what we now know.
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