Marvel vs. Mormon

I saw this post on Imgur comparing Star Wars and Game of Thrones and was inspired to create my own version of it, comparing Mormon myths to (mainly) Marvel heroes. 

I guess my point (besides trying to make someone laugh) is to reiterate one of Jeremy Runnell's points during his Mormon Stories interview with John Dehlin. To wit, "Everything is a remix." This was his response to the question of how he thought the Book of Mormon came about - that Joseph Smith just kinda took the Bible, added a few original bits, wrote in some of the sermons he had heard from local preachers, threw in some military strategy from another book he read, pretend to dictate it from reading his i-stone in his hat, and BOOM! You get the Book of Mormon. 

Another thing that motivated me to make these images was the movie Hercules starring Dwayne Johnson. In it, there's a group of people who help a strong man do some stuff and the details are greatly (and purposely) exaggerated as they are told and retold. That's pretty much what I think of most Bible stories and the supernatural or miraculous events it presents as history - overblown folk tales that were sensationalized. 

Basically, I think the equivalent of the "superhero" stories from 1000 BC turned into legend/myth and somehow got believed. It would be as if in the year 4000 kids reading their history books would learn about Peter Parker, who lived in the late 20th century who could climb walls and helped drive out the evils of the Soviet Union.

Anyway, so I had a little fun comparing biblical stories to modern Marvel comics. I'll include annotations for those who are't familiar. 

The Apostle Paul was blinded and later cured by Jesus. Matt Murdock was blinded but gained superhuman hearing and other senses and now fights crime in Hell's Kitchen, one of NYC's neighborhoods. Check out the Netflix Daredevil series - it's really well done. 

The Brother of Jared came up with the idea of providing light to his wood submarines by finding clear stones and having Jesus touch them with his finger. Tony Stark used palladium to make an Arc Reactor to power his Iron Man armored suit. 

Samuel the Lamanite was so bold teaching the gospel he didn't care about personal safety or casting his pearls before swine (lookin' at you, Elder Oaks) and got on the city wall and continued to preach, even while dodging arrows. Aragorn son of Arathrorn led men and elves to defend the fortress of Helm's Deep against the Saruman's orcs, where he dodged many arrows in Lord of the Rings. 

Nephi was the righteous brother of his family, and his brother Sam believed him and was on his side against his older brothers Lamen and Lemuel. Jon Snow defends The Wall against the Wildlings and White Walkers from the north with his friend Samewell Tarley in Game of Thrones. Frodo was charged with transporting and destroying the One Ring of Sauron at Mt. Doom and his only companion throughout the whole ordeal is Samewise Gamgee in Lord of the Rings. 

Mormon was the last great captain of the Nephite armies and saw all of them die with a few exceptions. Yoda was one of the last Jedi masters who survived Order 66 - the extinction order to kill all Jedi in Star Wars. 

Joseph, son of Jacob, was the most favored of his 12 siblings and his brothers got jealous, so they put him into a pit and sold him into Egypt. Tony Stark was captured by a terrorist group and held for ransom, but he escaped by building a mechanized suit of armor and became Iron Man. 

Lehi found a brass ball outside of his tent that had needles that pointed where he should go, provided he and his family were obeying God's rules. Link finds a magic compass in each dungeon he ventures in which points to treasures and where the dungeon boss is located in the Legend of Zelda. 

Lehi had a dream of a glowing tree representing the love of God. Thor taught Jane about Yggdrasil, the World Tree from Norse Legend that contains the 9 Realms. This particular scene was when the transporting device got iced over from being focused on the Frost Giant's world (Jotunheim) in Thor.

Abraham was commanded by God to sacrifice his son Isaac by stopped at the last moment. Darth Vader was commanded to either kill his son Luke or make him join their evil plan in Star Wars. 

Jesus was reported to have resurrected after 3 days following his death by crucifixion. Neo was killed in the Matrix but came back to be The One. Gandalf the Grey was killed fighting the Balrog so his party could finish their quest, then sent back by the Valar to help defeat Sauron as Gandalf the White in Lord of the Rings. Phoenix (Jean Grey) has died and been brought back to life at least 8 times in the X-Men comics and at least twice in the movies. 

Methuselah was purported to have lived to almost 1,000 years in the Bible. Yoda lived for over 900 years and trained Jedi for 800 years in Star Wars. 

Samson was gifted by God to have superhuman strength that he used to defeat the Philistines. Bruce Banner absorbed gamma radiation and became the Incredible Hulk, and while fighting the Abomination in Harlem he cause a lot of destruction in the Incredible Hulk. 

The Anti-Nephi-Lehis buried their weapons of peace weapons of war for peace to show their devotion to the commandment to not kill (we're still looking for that pit, by the way). After defeating Aldrich Killian, Tony Stark self-destructed all of his armored suits in Iron Man 3. 

Coriantumr cut of Shiz's head, after which he was said to raise up on his hands. Count Dooku and Jango Fett were both beheaded by lightsabers in Star Wars, but both just collapsed and didn't get up. 

Nephi was told by God to shock his brothers to force them to help him build a boat. Thor is the God of Thunder and can command lightning using his hammer Mjolnir in Thor and the Avengers. Storm's mutant powers let her control the weather, and she usually uses lightning as a weapon in the X-Men. Emperor Palpatine was a master of the Dark Side of the Force and could shoot lightning from his hands in Star Wars

Ammon stood in front of King Lamoni and was able to figure out his thoughts after a long time. Professor X's mutant powers allow him to read and project thoughts in the X-Men. 

David slew Goliath using a stone in a sling. In the Lord of the Rings movies, Gimli the Dwarf and Legolas the Elf have a contest to see who can slay the most enemies. Gimli says this after Legolas brings down an enemy elephant. 

Captain Moroni ripped his coat and wrote a decree to fight for his country and led his troops on many missions. Captain Steve Rogers parachuted into enemy territory with nothing more than a pistol and a shield to rescue 400 American soldiers from the Red Skull in Captain America: The First Avenger. 

Teancum scaled walls to kill enemy commanders. Peter Parker was bitten by a radioactive spider and gained the ability to climb walls, jump acrobatically, and swing from web he created in Spider-Man. 

Nephi invented several industries in the process of building a boat to go the American continent. Tony Stark used the remnants of the weapons he invented to build a suit of armors to escape his captors in Iron Man. 

Ammon cut off the arms of sheep robbers. Luke Skywalker's hand was cut off during a duel with Darth Vader in Star Wars. Jaime Lannister had his hand cut off  when he was a prisoner in Game of Thrones. Anakin Skywalker had all 4 limbs cut off (but not all at once) in Star Wars. Theon Greyjoy had his manhood cut off in Game of Thrones. 

Jesus was executed by being nailed to a cross. Thor, the God of Thunder, uses Mjolnir to defeat enemies in Thor. 

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were thrown into a furnace for their belief in Jehovah but not burned in the bible. Nephi and Lehi (brothers) were thrown into a furnace for their belief but not burned in the Book of Mormon.  Johnny Storm gained the ability to engulf himself in flame, shoot fire, and fly in the Fantastic Four.  

King Benjamin built a tower so everyone could hear his speech. Tony Stark built a tower to transition his company from making weapons into creating green energy. It was later turned into Avengers Tower in Avengers: Age of Ultron. 

Frosty the Snowman was brought to life by a magic top hat. Joseph Smith put a rock in a hat, buried his face in it, then dictated the text of the Book of Mormon to various people, principally Oliver Cowdery. 

Awake My Soul video

The Problem with the Missionary Program isn't the Missionaries

I read something the other day that really hit home. It was from the New Order Mormon forum, and reposted on reddit. New Order Mormons, or NOMs, are members of the LDS church who are aware of some of the troubling issues that cause people to leave/question/doubt, but have sufficiently resolved the problem for themselves. They may be staying for family or occupational reasons, and often will pick and choose which parts of the doctrine/church programs to follow. So for example, one NOM might ignore the Word of Wisdom and Tithing but still attend services and accept a calling. Another NOM might adhere to everything said by Joseph Smith and not so much to teachings by later presidents. Sometimes they are called, "Cafeteria Mormons" because they only follow the pieces they like instead of all of it.

Anyway, on the topic of why the missionary program seems like it has been stagnating recently, someone hit the nail on the head. He/She posted the thoughts (presumably) with the intent that hopefully someone who works at the Church Office Building (COB) might see these and recognize that these are valid concerns, while realizing that the chance of this happening to be very small. This is pretty much how I thought and felt while a member but was unable to articulate it so eloquently, and I was too nervous to say them aloud out of fear of being labeled an apostate. Anyway, here it is. 


Link to the original post: http://forum.newordermormon.org/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=46646
Comment made by user: "Lostinmiddlemormonism" about halfway down the page.


I believe I could help the church out considerably with their missionary work endeavors, but I fear they are not really interested in real improvement.

However, for all of our friends in the church office building that are reading this, I shall offer some feedback, without even charging for the consulting provided.
Let us start by talking about what the problems in missionary work are not:

• 1. It is NOT a lack of missionaries out in the "mission field"
• 2. It is NOT a lack of money and resources devoted to the program
• 3. It is NOT that the members are "slacking" or unmotivated
• 4. It is NOT that the missionaries are "unworthy"
• 5. It is NOT that the missionaries need to work harder
• 6. It is NOT that there needs to be a new program
• 7. It is NOT a problem with the approach
• 8. It is NOT a problem of language or communication
• 9. It is NOT that members don't have non-member friends
• 10. Nor is it that the members are scared to talk to their friends about the church.

Here it is in a nutshell - The problem is the product. The problem is that the members wouldn't wish the church on their worst enemies let alone their friends.
Most members - even the active ones - do not leave church on Sunday feeling measurably better than when they went in. They are not "uplifted." They are frustrated, saddened, and upset. Nearly everything is done half-assed.

The EQ President is only doing his calling because he was guilted into it. The Cub Master doesn't want to be in Scouts, but feels obligated because his son is in the program. The RS President is trying to be a funeral organizer, guidance counselor, principal, mother, wife, and welfare consultant all rolled into one and wonders why she isn't "good enough." The YW have a budget that wouldn't run a lemonade stand, and the idea of a fun ward activity is a potluck dinner in a smelly gymnasium that hasn't been cleaned effectively because the members are supposed to do that too, in their spare time.

The Home Teachers and Visiting Teachers (a.k.a. all the adults in the ward) are spending 3 evenings a month chasing down people that don't want to be visited. Not to mention the lies that they are forced to tell themselves in order to fit into this supposed ward family. They can't tell the truth that they find the temple weird, that they support gay marriage, or that they really don't want to spend two years of their life pushing religion on people that are perfectly happy without it for fear of being labeled a social pariah.

The problem is most ethical and moral human beings wouldn't wish the church on anyone. They intrinsically recognize that the church is to religion what McDonald's is to a fine dining experience. It is bland, it is cheap, it is mass produced, and it is barely functional. The average member, even if they don't recognize it consciously, understands the truism that, "What is good in Mormonism is not unique, and what is unique is not very good." When individuals do "share the gospel," what happens? Research your own experience and that of your friends. Someone posts a pro-LDS thought to Twitter, or Facebook. Who likes it? Other members! That's it! No one else, and the majority of those members only "like" it because they feel obligated to do so.

Give the average member the choice of attending the temple or a recently released movie (like Star Wars) and most will pick the latter every time. This is especially true if they aren't trying to demonstrate to the questioner how righteous they are. Why is this? Because, they get more fulfillment out of the movie at the local Cinemark than they do from the movie at the International House of Handshakes. Give members a choice of an early summer boat trip on the first Saturday of April or watching General Conference and what will most pick? Why?

The problem isn't the sales force folks. The problem is that the product does not work as advertised. If the membership of the church was actually getting out of their church experience what they say they are getting out of it, then you wouldn't be able to stop them from dragging their friends in the door, and more importantly, their friends would quickly recognize it. Why does everyone have an iPhone or an Android in their pocket? Because they work. Because they add value to their life. Because there is a real and measurable benefit. Why is the missionary program stagnant? Because it doesn't deliver what it promises.

And so my friends in the COB, until you fix this very fundamental problem, it won't matter what you do with the missionary effort or what cool new program you try. Until you fix that flaw, anything else is doomed to failure, and to make matters worse, putting this repetitively on the members only exacerbates the problem.



The only thing that I disagree with in my own personal case is the Cub Master bit (I loved doing that). But everything else is spot on. 

(Posted by Joseph using Anne's account)