The Judgments of Family and Friends

When we left the LDS faith we heard about a few of the rumors that went around about us because people from our former ward would come and ask us if they were true. The biggest and most bizarre one was that we had joined another sect of Mormonism and have become polygamists. This is not true. We have not joined with any religious groups.

In addition to these rumors, we have experienced many judgments and some shunning from our LDS family and friends.  Most of Joseph’s family has not said much about it and treats us like nothing has changed at least when we are around, but who knows what they might say when we aren’t there to hear it.  However, Joseph had one brother that made a lot of judgments in the beginning and did not treat us very Christ-like but when this was pointed out he more or less stopped.  This same brother of Joseph also deleted me as a friend on Facebook.  

I should mention that other Facebook friends of the Mormon faith have also deleted me from Facebook because they feel like I post negative things. For them I say: What about all the LDS things that get posted on my wall? You could always choose to hide what you don’t like. That is what I do.

My family has been okay for the most part with the exception of 2 family members who make judgments almost every time I talk with them. For example, tonight I joked about how we should bet on something we were debating about and they immediately assumed that I must be a gambler, now that I have left the church. The other family member of mine likes to ask me if I have started drinking/smoking amongst other things.  

I just don’t get why so many LDS people feel they have the right to judge others. They are not God. I know cigarettes are not healthy for me. I watched my grandfather die from smoking and may experience the same thing with my dad. I am not planning on smoking. But I have always felt that alcohol was okay, even when I was a TBM (true believing Mormon). I don’t think that because one drinks a single drink of alcohol that it makes them an alcoholic. I believe it is the behavior in which they do it. Do they abuse it? So I may try it because I am curious. I may even gamble for fun if I am in Vegas but I won’t make it a hobby.

I just want people to know that Joseph and I would never have left the church if it were true (the one and only). We are not dumb people. We didn’t leave over something small and stupid, like being offended by someone. We left because we found out about several things that the church has in their history that did not sit right with us. We could not be part of a cult that continues to lie to their people.

Fortunately, there have been a couple of families who have not shunned us. One is a family who moved far away a couple of years ago and decided to email us when they heard of the news. Her husband struggled at one point with the church but decided to stay because he likes the values the church teaches and felt it was the best place to raise their children. The second family also moved from our former ward, but only a short distance away and still remains friends with us. It is nice to know that there are still a few good people out there that don’t think they are God.